A tribute to Ed Ybarra

Ok, not so much a tribute. More of a running log of the pranks Kyle and myself have pulled on one Edward Orlando Ybarra. First a little backstory; Kyle and I are probably the funniest and best people ever. Now that you’re caught up, I will list the prank, and rank it as I see fit. Here they are, in random order:

The Wet Seat of Doom – 3 out of 5 stars

This one is a very simple trick. Pour water in the seat of Ed. It can be while he’s sitting there, or while he’s up. Either way, the result is the same. Pure, unadulterated hilarity. It takes a minute before he realizes it, and I think that’s part of why it’s so funny. But, like every prank, there are pros and cons. The pro is that it never gets old. Not even one time. The con is that Ed can retaliate with the same prank. For example, when you’re under the desk messing with electricity, and he pours a bottle of water down your pants. Hypothetically, of course.

The Wet Seat of Doom can be improved upon by sending the victim an email that says ‘Don’t sit down, your chair is wet.’ That easily bumps it up to a 4 star prank. I recommend this prank for office situations, school situations, and bat mitzvahs.

The Wooden Rod of Doom – 3 out of 5 stars

As you can see, I’m judging pranks very strictly. The only reason this is a 3 star prank is because it’s so simple and quick. This is from the mind of Kyle. Take a three foot wooden dowel, and hit the back of Ed’s chair with it while he’s working. It makes a cannon like sound, and Ed jumps out of his seat. Again, this never gets old. For a bonus star, make the rod explode upon impact, leaving shrapnel wounds upon the victim – which Kyle has done on at least one occasion.

The Wet Paper Towel of Doom – 3 out of 5 stars

This is a good, quick prank for those on the go. We have pulled this one a few times before, even as late as yesterday afternoon. Wait until your victim is looking intently as his screen, and then drill him in the side of the face with a wet, soggy paper towel. It makes an amazing sound, and the reaction is obviously hysterical. Again, for an added star, have your partner in crime (PIC from here on out) send an IM to the victim that says ‘watch out…spit wad’ and then give the victim a second to read it. Kyle and I pulled this off masterfully yesterday.

The Frozen Keys of Doom – 4 out of 5 stars

The only reason this one is a four star prank is because it didn’t freeze completely solid. We took the keys, and put them in a bowl of water in the freezer. Unfortunately, said bowl was slightly insulated, so it didn’t freeze all the way through. Still, the reaction was bloody brilliant, and this is one we will be revisiting in the near future. Yes, Ed – I said in the near future.

The 1980s Computer of Doom – 4 out of 5 stars

First off, you need to know the setups we have in our office. Mac G5 Quads with 30″ monitors and all sorts of other fun toys. Ed went on a vacation for a few days, so we tampered with his workstation. Pictures will tell this story the best.

Before:

After:

Evidently an old computer like that is called ‘A Wang.’ Bonus points if you can get Heather to accidentally say “What man still has a functioning wang?”

The Smoke Machine of Doom - 5 out of 5 stars

I rank this one on potential alone. The actual result was probably a 3 star prank, but it had the potential of being a 5 or even a 6 star prank. It took a couple weeks of planning. We borrowed a smoke machine from a friend, and placed it under Ed’s desk in a box. A hole was strategically cut in the box to allow for optimal smoke dispersal. The machine was controlled by remote, which I had, and the smoke had been aimed to come up from below his desk, and up from the back, by his monitor. We waited until Ed was working (which actually must have taken about three weeks) and then executed the plan. Kyle turned up his music to mask the noise, and I triggered the smoke. It came up just as planned and everything was in motion. What we hadn’t counted on, however, was a variable (thank you, Michelle), that we will refer to as Bobby T. A variable that walked through the room right before the panic ruined Ed, and shouted ‘it’s coming from that box!’ We were on the brink of prank history – and it was derailed.

The Gaff Tape of Doom – 3 out of 5 stars

These are actually multiple jokes, as gaff tape can, and should, be used frequently. Gaff tape can be used to:

- Tape a cell phone to a ceiling

- Tape keys to a ceiling

- Tape Ed to a chair

- Cover up the optical eye on a mouse

- Tape a mouse to Ed’s hand

- Wrap Ed’s glasses when he asks you to fix the nose piece because it came off

The Stacked Furniture of Doom – 4 out of 5 stars

This is Kyle’s and my oldest prank, perhaps. We’ve executed it a few times, and it’s simple and fun. When Ed goes to the bathroom, stack all the furniture in the office in front of the door. We have gotten three office chairs, a couch, a coffee table, a trashcan, and a fan (turned on) in less than thirty seconds, and in complete ninja silence. It’s even to the point where Kyle and I have perfected Navy Seal-like hand signals to use complete non-verbal communication.

The Projectiles of Doom – 4 out of 5 stars

This is a definite 4 star prank, solely because Kyle knocked him down the other day with one. Stress balls work the best, as they’re soft, and fly straight and true. Also, he peeks through doors every time he comes in now.

The Zip Ties of Doom – 3 out of 5 stars

Zip tie everything on Ed’s desk together. Ev. Ry. Thing. Watching Ed in all his sausage fingered glory trying to undo the pandemonium we have created is amusing, to say the least.

Note the sausage fingers.

The Power Tools of Doom – 3 out of 5 stars

The same premise as The Projectiles of Doom™, except instead of throwing balls at him, fire up power tools right outside the door when he opens it. Bonus points for making him recoil into the bathroom to use it again.

The Dark Bathroom of Doom – 4 out of 5 stars

This one is an addendum to the original post.  We just pulled this one off, not five minutes ago, and it was worthy of a spot on the list.  At his age, Ed has to use the restroom eight to ten times a day.  And this presents many opportunities for The Dark Bathroom of Doom™.  We give Ed a minute to get settled, and then my PIC and I turn off the lights.  Simple.  The hilarity arises because it’s pitch black and Ed has to use his cell phone for any light.  It jumps to a 5 star prank when Kyle and I stay in the bathroom in complete silence and darkness, and scare the ‘bejesus’ out of him when he turns on the light.

The Hanging Office Chair of Doom – 3 out of 5 stars

Take Ed’s office chair, and hang it from the catwalk by a rope, upside down. Bonus points for getting the music pastor to walk right next to it, at eye level, and not see it because he’s looking down at his cell phone.

We here at Deaf, Dumb and Blind Video Productions are always looking for new and exciting pranks. Please send all suggestions to stcrawford@grandecom.net.

~ by stevecrawford on March 13, 2007.